Somewhere in Tomorrow

"It will come, sometime.    Some beautiful morning she will just wake up and find it is Tomorrow.  Not Today but Tomorrow.  And the things will happen...wonderful things.   She may find out what is at the end of the harbor road...that wandering, twisting road like a nice red snake that leads, so Elizabeth thinks, to the end of the world.    Perhaps the Island of Happiness is there."

-Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Windy Poplars 

When Tomorrow comes.   Oh, how I long for Tomorrow.   I long with the deepest part of me for some bright future where everything nasty will vanish and blow away.   I'm always waiting for Tomorrow, whatever Tomorrow looks like from where I am now.      When I become a teenager.   When I get my driver's licence.   When I graduate.   When I publish a book.   When I get married.    Something in me wants something that is not today, with it's cares and hurts; not today's circumstances.   Not today's tears.   Not today's failures.   Somewhere, in my envisioning of Tomorrow, I've made myself believe that al will be put right.

But that's a myth outside of heaven.    It's a lie that fades away as Today melts into Tomorrow and I fid that where some problems and pains have passed on, new ones have replaced them.     I'm still the same me, no matter whether I'm in Tomorrow or Today.

And I'm still not satisfied, still looking beyond the sunset towards the next Tomorrow on the horizon.

Oh, that it would sink in that the Tomorrow I've always longed for is Heaven!    It's not something I'll grasp on earth.   But some days that just doesn't click.

So I drown myself in stories of valour and fantasies of a world where I am everything that I want to be.   And I shy further away from today.  

I want Tomorrow now.   I want everything to be fixed the way I want it ---now.    I want to be the person of my goals ---now.     But I'm not.

So I look to the sunset and it just seems so far away, and the durt under my feet is just a little too real.

So I need help to look at Today and see its purpose.    I need a Vision that includes homeschooling and dirty dishes and small group meetings and writing.  

Because Tomorrow will always be in the future.    On this earth, nothing is ideal.   But as I walk this life, as I live in the not yet, as I wait and long with groaning for my true home --- I want to live a extraordinary life.        Loving God, loving people, even when the difficulties of Today cast a dust cloud over my vision for Tomorrow.

Because Tomorrow, the true Tomorrow, is coming.
And I can't wait.
God, help me to live Today.